


"You're a crab"

by heartheOcean



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Harry likes animals a lot, M/M, Oneshot, i dont know why louis is a crab but he is, spanish restaurant, they speak a bit of spanish, this was a weird fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 04:44:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartheOcean/pseuds/heartheOcean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry likes to assign animals to people, Louis is a little unsure at first but hey, he’s a hot waiter in a Spanish restaurant, who could resist?</p>
            </blockquote>





	"You're a crab"

**Author's Note:**

> idek what this is, a friends of mine was talking about what animal people were and thats when i started writting it so yeah i guess that expalins that, theres a little spanish in this, bad spanish, i’ve been doing spanish for 5 years and i know its bad, i did really try los siento mis amigos. Leer en tumblr [aquí](http://jjdoesntgetit.tumblr.com/post/46855946434/youre-a-crab)

“You’re a crab.”  
“Than-… wait excuse me?” Louis did a double-take shooting a confused look back at the waiter. The man serving him returned the gaze, the sides of his lips tugging slightly at Louis’ bemusement. He’d nearly almost thank the man that had just compared him to a six legged crustacean. Louis realise that he’d been staring at him for a while now and hadn’t received a reply. “Erm a crab you say?” He probed further. The boy nodded a sloppy grin appearing on his face.

“Yep, you see everyone has a different animal,” he said pocketing his notepad and pen and crouching so they were at similar levels as if he was planning on staying a while. Louis hoped not, he did just order and was expecting a meal. “See that lady over there? She’s a dolphin and that man in the corner with the blue scarf? A wolf, one of those big black ones.” He smiled triumphantly as he assigned animal to other costumers, who were sat enjoying their meals (like Louis really wished he was doing right now) in the little Spanish restaurant Louis had found tucked away on the outskirts of his small town.

He wasn’t sure If this was how things usually went at this restaurant, you know, you order your food indulge in some strange conversation with your waiter and then get severed several minutes later than you had expected and he wasn’t sure if he was enjoying it or not.  
“Wait a minute, why are those people dolphins and wolves and decent animals and I’m a bloody crab?!” He turned to the waiter just in time to notice his enticing green eyes light up a little.  
“Crabs are my favourite,” he summoned his best teeth baring grin, clearly pleased “they taste great too.” Louis gave him a quizzical look.  
“Are you saying you want to eat me?” His words were slow as he contemplated what he was suggesting as he said it. The boy laughed, a low soft sound which made Louis smile.  
“Err look…” Louis looked at the younger boy’s shirt in search of a name tag which turned out to be fruitless.  
“I don’t have a name tag, my names Harry.” Louis nods in acknowledgement.  
“Right Harry if this is some kind of ploy to get me to order to crab…”  
“We don’t have crab on the menu, it’s not very Spanish.” Harry let out a small chuckle.  
“Yeah right, so then I as fun as this little chat has been I would like to get my meal sometime soon if that’s okay,” he smiled at the end making sure not to come across too rude. Harry beamed, completely missing the slight sarcasm in Louis voice.  
“Of course!” He got back up from his position, “your meal will be here shortly signor.” He winked at Louis before walking off in the direction if the kitchen.

Louis shook his head; even though he was a little strange Harry was amusing and more than a little fit. He was tall and lean with a beautiful smile and a head full precious brown curls and his vibrant green eyes spoke just as much as his charming tongue, even if those charming words were ones that had Louis imagining himself scuttling along the beach with his claws in the air.

His meal arrived shortly after brought by non-other than the grinning curly haired boy.  
“Bon appetite monsieur”  
“Isn’t that French?” Harry waved his hand in dismissal,  
“Same thing,” he smiled with a wink. Louis raised an eyebrow at him, very much amused by this strange lad; he ran his eyes over his body slowly watching as he squirmed a little at the action. Louis smirked enjoying the fact maybe Harry wasn’t all that confident after all. He cheeks blushed as he became a little flustered at the pair of blue eyes fixed on him from the attractive older lad.  
“Why don’t you tell me more about your little animal theories?” He asked not wanting Harry to leave so soon. It wasn’t all that strange when he thought about it really, flirting with a hot waiter, but when you added in the fact that the version of flirting you were doing involved the childish act of assigning animals to people and this waiter just happened to be a tad younger than you it doesn’t seem all that normal either.

The age thing didn’t really bother Louis though, Harry couldn’t have been more than a few years younger than him anyway (sure that made him just about 18 but hey ho) and what he lacked in years he defiantly made up in height. He had to be at least 6ft. 2”, 6ft. 2” of goofy hot weirdo. Louis’ grinned widely at the thought. Harry had seemed genuinely delighted that Louis had asked him to talk more. He went to pull out the chair opposite him and was about to sit down, like he wasn’t in the middle of work and this wasn’t highly unprofessional. Louis watched contently, completely surprised by Harry’s every move. As if right on cue, however, a man who was likely another waiter, in the same plain white shirt black trousers uniform as Harry, shaved head and a serious look in his face directly straight at Harry.  
“Harry don’t you think that table four could do with some assistance, sí?” Harry looked up at the man, jaw slack and a little confused.  
“But Liam-“  
“Harry you’re going your get yourself in shit you know, so do yourself a favour and get back to work por favor.” Liam stalked off to the back of the restaurant.

Harry returned his gaze to Louis shrugging of what had just happened and attempting to rekindle the conversation with Louis.  
“Err don’t you think you should go back work now? Your friend didn’t seem very happy.” louis looked round harry, awkwardly pointing in the direction that Liam had left. Harry shrugged.  
“Ah Liam’s a push over, he’s a duck you see, don’t worry about him,” he smiled that perfect smile again and Louis was still a bit hesitance but he figured that he couldn’t force him and he wasn’t the one at risk of losing his job right?

A little while later Louis had introduced himself properly and Harry had taken it upon himself educate his new friend. While Harry was trying to explain to Louis that ‘no you can’t just pick your own animal and yes you’re defiantly a crab’, another man pulled up next to their table. A young blonde boy who looked a lot like he was the manager in a sharp suite and stern look on his face. The boy looked at the two and the focused in Harry.  
“Signour Styles, por qué crees que está bien tomar receso ahora?!”  
The boy wasn’t Spanish. That was clear, in fact it was quiet comical how the language leaving his mouth in his Irish accent. Louis didn’t have a clue what he was saying and neither did Harry by the look on his face. The man took another glance at Louis “es porque este muy guapo?!”  
“Niall…”Harry tried, the blonde boy shook his head, opting to switch to English seeing as he wasn’t getting through to him.  
“Styles, I don’t care how fit he is doesn’t mean you get time off okay mate?!” He jabbed his thumb in Louis direction as he spoke of him, Louis who was of course smirking now, more amused by this whole scene than embarrassed. Harry on the other hand has turned bright red looking away from Niall mumbling something about getting back to work and getting up from his seat.  
“Dogs,” he offered Louis like it explained everything. It didn’t. “I’m really sorry-“  
“Don’t worry about it, thank you for keeping me company, now get back to work Harry Styles.” Louis said leading across the table and giving him a cheeky wink, Harry smiled before turning and heading over towards table four.

He watched as Harry walked away still contently entertained by all of this. Harry was intriguing, he’d managed to spend at least 10 minutes talking to Louis about what would ordinary be crude childish subjects in a way that Louis couldn’t help but feel drawn in by. His words were strange and his ideology was clearly flawed and Louis couldn’t actual tell if he was being serious or not but he loved all of it. He’d hardly touched his meal while Harry was there, his words proving to me way more appetising, but he decide that since he was paying that he should really finish what was on his plate despite him not really knowing what it was and the appeal of said meal having severely decreased along with its temperature.

He was finishing off the last bits off his plate when he looked up to see a familiar head of brown locks serving a couple at a table in the corner of the restaurant, only just visible from where Louis was sat. He watched as Harry took the pairs order, wondering what sort of charming things Harry was saying to them, likely disclosing their animal identities no doubt. He wondered whether Harry made it a thing of entertaining his costumers with such unnecessary self-made trivia. He was probably telling the woman how she was a ferret and her partner a kangaroo (both still better than crab).

Louis was watching the interaction; well mainly what Harry was doing, taking their orders and making polite conversation. Harry dropped his pen mid writing, flashing an apologetic smile he turned to pick it up. It was then that Louis caught a nice view of Harry’s arse. Well displayed in his tight jeans with a tiny bit too much flesh showing from where he was wearing it unbearably low, and tough not as nice as his own derrière, which in his opinion was hard to beat, all he could think about was how much he wanted to touch it. He wanted to try and squeeze as much of it in to his dainty hands as possible, he wanted kneed at the flesh and plant sweet kisses it, pull him on top of his dick and fuck him raw. He only saw it briefly but his mind was racing thinking of all the things he wanted to do to that boy. He was deep in fantasy when a figure came and stood in front of him blocking the view of the object of his desires.

“Drooling is a little unattractive.” Louis looked up to see a tanned, dark haired boy aiming an amused raised eyebrow at him. Louis scrambled to get himself back together,and discreetly adjusting his his pants. he’d not realised that he had leaned out of his chair and was craning his neck to get a good view of Harry. When he was better composed he risked another look back up at the man in front of him. The guy had a perfectly quiffed dark hair with smooth caramel skin and dark piercing brown eyes still centred on Louis. “Like I said it’s not very cool to drool like that in public, especially when the guy you’re drooling over could look over and see you,” He smirked. Louis was a little struck by his straightforwardness.  
“No… I err… Its jus-“  
“Save your excuses, you wouldn’t be the first to want his arse. Are you done?” He asked indicating to the more or less empty plate on the table. Louis nodded absently; he didn’t feel like eating any more. “Ok then, oh and is there a reason you’re out having a meal by yourself?” He asked picking up the dishes. Louis blushed, slightly thrown by the question.  
“Is there anything wrong with wanting to enjoy a nice meal on your own?” He answered a back a little defensive.  
“No nothing wrong, I’d say it’s better that way, es muy divertido y menos esfuerzo,” he said. “Your bill will be here shortly then,” he shot a quick glance over his shoulder, “I’ll have Harry bring it over,” he winked as he turned towards the kitchen “oh and heads up, I hear he’s very fond of crabs.”

Louis was stating in the direction the guy had come from long after he had a disappeared, both baffled and a little embarrassed that he’d been caught staring. He tried to ignore it, knowing that at least nobody else saw especially Harry. He had to admit though this had been a very interesting meal considering he was out on his own. How he’d wondered in to the quirky Spanish place filled with good looking waiters and badly spoken Spanish he’d never know but he was glad he did.

Harry turned up with his bill not too long later, beaming at Louis.  
“Your bill monsieur.”  
“Still French Harry.”  
“Still close enough Louis.” He chucked as Louis smiled and shook his head.  
“How was table four?” He asked playfully.  
“Oh lovely, I do like birds, but not as much as I like crabs,” he leaned on the table as he spoke.  
“Oh I’m sure you do.” He reached in to his back pocket and pulled out his wallet before opening and laying some cash on the table, all without taking his eyes of Harry (this may have meant he took out more money than necessary but he really couldn’t care less). Their level of flirting had clearly escalated in the brief time that they had known it other. Now it had become obvious and almost needy and they were both very aware of it. Harry made no attempt to take the money from the table, thus would be ending their time together. Instead he continued to indulge in blatant flirting.  
“You know I think I’m getting quite use to being a crab,” Louis continued.  
“Is that so?”  
“Mhmm, I actually quite like it, I mean I get six legs and a set of claws what else would I want?”  
“Crabs have ten legs.”  
“Even better,” he smiled up at Harry, not the slightest bit bothered by the leg count on a crab. Harry leaned in closer, close enough that his lips brushed Louis ear, that he could feel Harry’s hot breath on his skin. His breath hitched and he tried not to moan at the sensation.  
“Do you want to know what I like best about crabs?” He whispered. Louis hummed a yes in response. “That if they lose one of their claws, it can grow back again.” Louis blinked. He want sure he what he had expected but it defiantly wasn’t that.

“Harry… That has to be the least sexy thing that anyone has ever whispered to me.” Louis had to pull back to look at Harry properly, when he did he was surprised to see a slightly disappointed look on his face, like a child who had just been told that they were wrong.  
“But it’s true Lou…” Louis had to stop himself from laughing too loud, the simplicity of Harry was very adorable and one of the cutest things Louis had ever seen and he quite like the way he shortened his name.  
“You’re a strange one Harry styles.”  
“That’s a good thing,” it wasn’t a question. That’s one thing Louis also liked about Harry, he was very happy with the way he was. Louis smiled up again at Harry who was gazing down at him with a soft look on his face.

He didn’t know how long they had been just looking at each other when the same dark haired boy from before had come back to his table, needing to clear his throat the grab the twos attention.  
“Ahem, sorry to interrupt the little eye sex thing you’re doing but I need to remind you that you are meant to be working Harry.”  
“Zayn can I just-“  
“Harry get back to work. You can give him your number I’m sure he’ll call,” Zayn ordered. Harry look from Zayn to Louis then back before opting for Louis.  
“You can tell he’s a cat,” he grinned once more.  
“No Harry he can’t, I’m pretty sure no one can but you okay? We’re not doing this animal bullshit today.” Zayn turned on his heels and headed back to the kitchen shaking his head.

“He might be a tabby…” Harry mused watching him leave.  
“Harry you should probably get back to work,” Louis was already getting up from his seat thinking it was really about his time to leave regardless of how much fun this had all been. The younger boy looked back at him saddened.  
“You at least need my number yeah?” He was already ripping a page from his notepad and scrawling out the digits in a hurry. Louis could hardly handle how cute Harry was, tongue out, large hands scribbling fast. He thrusted the piece of paper in to Louis’ chest when he was done, his cheeks tinting a bit as he did so.  
“Thank you Harry. I’ll be sure to call,” he gave him one final smile before turning and leaving the interesting establishment.

Outside it was just starting to get dark, Louis looked at his watch thinking how it was probably just about to get busy in there for the evening, he was especially grateful that he’d decided on an early dinner now. He’d only gotten a little way down the road when he heard a low drawl call out his name. Harry was coming up being him still in his uniform.  
“You’re going to get in more trouble Styles” Louis said as Harry came to a stop in front of him. He looked a little too out of breath for someone who’d just run only a hundred meters or so.  
“I needed to know something,” he panted.  
“And what would that be?” He quizzed. Louis learnt that Harry was a good kisser. A very good kisser. Sure at first when he’d grabbed him by the chest and pulled him in it was a bit forceful and surprising but when he’d relaxed in to it, it was amazing. He ran his hands up Harry’s chest and wrapping them round his neck pulling him in deeper, allowing harry full access in to his mouth when he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. Louis hadn’t had a kiss that good is a very long time. When they pulled away they were both breathless.  
“And what was it you needed to know exactly?” Louis breathed. Harry frowned a little before deciding to shrug off whatever was bothering him before he spoke.  
“You don’t taste like crabs.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure what happened here tbh. I hope it actually made sense and you enjoyed it, first published larry fic. and once again i apologies for the spanish neccescito mas clases de espanol edit: i tidied it up a bit so hopefully this reads better :)


End file.
